My mother always brought me up on the saying that “…the same way you choose your friends is the same way you choose your family.” I didn’t always understand that phrase as consequently, I always heard that “blood is thicker than water.” My grandmother always told me that your family came first no matter what. However, I will say that over the years, most of the pain that has been afflicted on me has been by my so-called family (or relatives as I’ll prefer to refer to them as).
Truth is, I’ve always been extremely family orientated, that’s the type of home I’ve been raised in. I grew up believing that family are meant to be loyal to one another, take care of you when you’re down, be ready to fight for you when you can’t and even when you can. Within the last year, I have grown to really understand what my mum really meant by choosing your family. Family can be friends, blood-relatives, in-laws, neighbours, colleagues, as long as they remain the loyal ones who stand and support you always. The aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents aren’t always your family. You may be connected but when trust, love and loyalty isn’t given out of free will, it is not strong, or sometimes even real.
- Your true family are the friends who comfort you when everyone else has torn you down.
- Your true family are the neighbours who save your life, even at the risk of their own.
- Your true family are the colleagues who stretch out a helping hand when you’re in need.
- Your true family are the in-laws who take you in when others cast you out.
This is what I know family to be!
In my deepest and darkest hours of need, I have been ridiculed, insulted, abandoned and ignored by a now disowned father, aunts and uncles and some cousins too. This is why I would never go as far as claiming that blood is thicker than water, but I will say that loyalty is thicker than blood! Loyalty plays a key part in any type of relationship and especially where family is concerned. I definitely don’t want someone in my life just because we’re related but because we have built a relationship on a strong foundation and that is so much greater than our last name. Family is not a title given by me to those simply sharing parts of the same DNA. For me, family is made of people you love, trust, rely on…and know that without a shadow of a doubt will be there for me no matter what.
My MOTHER is my number one family! My solid rock, my mentor, my best friend, my life, my hero, my everything and (next to God) the reason I am who I am today! No matter what, I will always love her forever and a day after.
My promise to my daughter…as your mother. I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane and be your worst nightmare when needed, WHY? Because I LOVE YOU! When you understand this, I will know you have gained the true knowledge, wisdom and understanding that a responsible person requires. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cherishes, cares and worries about you more than I will!
Blood doesn’t play any importance to who is your family. Love does!
Life is full of many challenges that will either make you or break you. I choose to continue to rise in greatness because the fears and disappointments in life enable me to grow layers of grace, strength and bravery. Always stand up tall to face whatever roller-coaster you experience, know and cherish your worth whether you are alone or have the right people beside you.
Thank you for reading!