Idi ti obi yẹ ki o wa rẹ akọkọ idojukọ -Why parenting should be your first focus

The little girls’ mum is in a same-sex relationship and her daughter was conceived via IVF.

So, my daughter has had a few play-dates with a little girl that’s a week older than her. At 6 months old they sit side-by-side babbling to each other, pulling each other’s hands and feet (it’s ever so cute). They’re both at the age of not wanting to share, so give them a packet of wipes and they could spend a good 30 mins snatching it off each other (again, it’s ever so cute).

Whilst our babies babble and play, we mums have a chinwag about life, relationships and baby classes. The little girls’ mum is in a same-sex relationship and her daughter was conceived via IVF. To my understanding, the couple didn’t lay out pros and cons before making a logical and rational decision about becoming parents. It was a simple case of both women wanting to be mums, one wanted to experience birth and the other one didn’t. However, this mum recently expressed her fears about how other parents might react towards her family dynamic, especially among friendship circles when her daughter starts school. Now we all know that children are very accepting and open, but sadly society often teaches them how to be bias. There are adults who raise their children to be hateful and intolerant towards others and this is something to consider as we raise our children.

As a teacher and now a parent, I’m a firm advocate in children socialising with people from different backgrounds whether they’re: gay, straight, conservative, liberal, Christian, Jewish or Muslim etc…in today’s day and age, I don’t believe that it’s advisable to necessarily shelter your children too much. They’ll be living in this world and they’re going to have to learn to relate to people from a wide variety of backgrounds and all walks of life.

I personally think it’s important to get to know the parents of the children and understand their lifestyle and whether or not you’re comfortable with it and I’m not solely referring to same-sex parents. For instance, there might be an independent mother who brings part-time lovers home on a regular basis, or a dad who’s involved within the pornography industry etc etc… How comfortable would you feel about your child having a play-date at their house?

Parents have a duty to train and educate their children and to also protect them emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually whilst maintaining an open heart and sharing love and respect to those who don’t necessarily share your principles. It’s important to remember that respecting people doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your values and principles. Nonetheless, you will always be your child’s most effective teacher.

This blog is open to all opinions…and I’d love to hear from you, irrespective of whether or not you have children.

If you’re a parent with very strict religious beliefs, how would you feel about your child playing with children from a different background to your own?

If you weren’t comfortable with a family’s lifestyle, do you believe that it’s appropriate to establish guidelines and reasonable boundaries from a young age?

Please feel free to comment below, all views and opinions are welcome.


  1. Really thoughtful piece Latifah. I’ve always been of the opinion that we are raising people who will one day be in the wider society so it’s important that we raise humans that will only contribute positively rather than add even more hate to what is able east a difficult world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Ore. In an ideal world this would be perfect and for many of us that have been raised knowing and believing that it is right to respect others irrespective of how different they are to us, will probably go on to raise our children in the same way. However, my worry is, what happens to all the other ignorant people who then go on to have children?


  2. I felt you were very safe on this one. With this same sex dynamic could there be a long term effect on the child from society and people’s ignorant views? What about if the parent with no biological ties walks out, will they be treated the same as a man who leaves his wife to look after the kids? I feel with same sex couples something perhaps should be put in law making them legally responsible as we need to put the child’s welfare at the heart of things. So raising a child doesn’t become something same sex couples want to do just so they can say they have equal rights but are in it for the long haul.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Batman, you raise some thought provoking questions here, but you don’t really address the questions posed. So I guess your response is somewhat safe here. The questions you ask would lead onto a whole new blog post in my opinion. So thank you for the inspiration I guess.


  3. As a parent with strict religious views, I teach my children to love their neighbors as themselves, I also teach them that they are different from the world, most of the things they see in the world should not be reflected in them but they are to be a reflections of God’s word. In the case of same sex parents, really there isn’t much to have guidelines child for.
    However, if a parent’s lifestyle is in the category of MA rated in the presence of their children, then strict guidelines are needed.

    Liked by 1 person

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